1. Your child will never wear all of those adorable clothes that you got at your shower. All we needed was Sleep and Play’s (pajama type things with feet) and one or two cute “going out” outfits, for the early stages of growth. My son LIVES in Sleep and Play’s. It’s colder than a witches tit here in Minnesota, so we rarely take him anywhere – and let’s just be honest here- there is no point in dressing a little baby in a Onesie, pants, socks, shoes, and a sweatshirt. All this does is A) Make it harder to change that diaper that already feels like you're changing every ten minutes B) Produces a lot more laundry that you have absolutely no time to wash, let alone fold and put away in some sort of organized manner and C) Makes you feel horrible that you have two drawers full of clothes that your baby has never worn and now, because he grows like a weed, never will wear. My suggestion is to keep the tags on all but about two changes per day of whatever type of clothes you choose to dress your little one in. If/when they outgrow the rest, you can exchange them.
2. People will feel the need to bring your child something every time they come over. It’s not that we don’t appreciate their well intended gifts but we’ve got nowhere to put all of this stuff! We by no means have a small house but we don’t live in a palatial estate either. Our basement, which is supposed to be being turned into a playroom, is FULL of stuff that has no home.
3. You really do forget the pain of childbirth. It’s just a vague memory now and I had six hours of back labor, so that’s really saying something! I can remember sounds, sights, smells, and emotions from the moment when I held Wee-man for the first time and yet, like my expensive wedding, labor and delivery is just a blur.
4. If you’re not careful, in no time flat, you will become one of those blathering parents who never shuts their pie holes about how amazing their baby is. Your baby simply must be a prodigy. Tread carefully friend – no one wants to hear about your kid 24/7.
5. The saying, “Time flies” is a saying for a reason. When you are operating on two hours of fitful sleep, it may seem like the day is never going to end but I promise, it will. And as that beautiful baby grows (so fast it makes you dizzy), you will wish that you could pause time.
6. When you have a tear or have abrasions, it is possible for you to develop a condition called Labial Adhesion. In all of the reading and research I had done while pregnant, I had never, not once, read anything about this. Yet, the doctor’s all say, “It’s not uncommon”. Well, Einstein, if it’s not uncommon, why the hell wasn’t I warned about it?! After six weeks of recovering from childbirth, I then had to have a minor surgery on my labia. This. Sucked. Ass.
While the anxiety leading up to the surgery was overwhelming for me, the actual procedure was quick and the recovery was relatively painless. The worst part was the Lidocain injections. Yes, I said injections. In. Your. Hoo-ha.
This whole thing could have been avoided if I had been informed. My advice is, right after giving birth, ask the doctor if you have labial abrasions. If you do, every day, while you are taking a bath/shower, manipulate ALL external parts of your genital area (Labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris). After you dry everything very thoroughly, apply a small amount of KY Jelly to the labia majora and labia minora. This will help prevent the various parts from adhering to one another. Spread the word, sisters.
While the anxiety leading up to the surgery was overwhelming for me, the actual procedure was quick and the recovery was relatively painless. The worst part was the Lidocain injections. Yes, I said injections. In. Your. Hoo-ha.
This whole thing could have been avoided if I had been informed. My advice is, right after giving birth, ask the doctor if you have labial abrasions. If you do, every day, while you are taking a bath/shower, manipulate ALL external parts of your genital area (Labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris). After you dry everything very thoroughly, apply a small amount of KY Jelly to the labia majora and labia minora. This will help prevent the various parts from adhering to one another. Spread the word, sisters.
7. “Sleep while the baby sleeps” – utter nonsense. You will always find that there is something that absolutely must be done while your little one sleeps because there is no other time to get it done. Those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves!
8. Breast feeding is a beautiful bonding experience. It is also true that it is very good for your little bundle of joy. It can also be, however, very difficult and very, very painful.
Don’t get me wrong – I am in full support of breast feeding and I think, barring some medical condition, every mother should at least try it, for the well-being of the child.
I just wish that someone had prepared me. The exhaustion was already present from the birth and the constant interrupted sleep but it was absolutely amplified by breast feeding.
The exhaustion was followed by pain. My Wee-man repeatedly latched on and pulled away – over and over and over. This led to very painful feedings for mama. It also led to double mastitis - Also, extremely painful – in my opinion, more painful then childbirth. After I had recovered from the double mastitis, I then had the joy of a yeast infection of the milk ducts. Yay.
Don’t get me wrong – I am in full support of breast feeding and I think, barring some medical condition, every mother should at least try it, for the well-being of the child.
I just wish that someone had prepared me. The exhaustion was already present from the birth and the constant interrupted sleep but it was absolutely amplified by breast feeding.
The exhaustion was followed by pain. My Wee-man repeatedly latched on and pulled away – over and over and over. This led to very painful feedings for mama. It also led to double mastitis - Also, extremely painful – in my opinion, more painful then childbirth. After I had recovered from the double mastitis, I then had the joy of a yeast infection of the milk ducts. Yay.
After the second round of infection, I just couldn’t do it anymore. The guilt I felt over my decision to stop breast feeding was horrendous and quite overwhelming. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I felt so selfish.
After a lot of soul searching, speaking with my doctor, and also a lot of reading on the net, I started to feel like a decent human being again. I realized that I was being entirely too hard on myself. The pain of breast feeding was robbing me of the joy and bonding that should happen with feeding time. I also firmly believe that my frustration and pain was being transferred to my son. As I was crying silently from the pain, he would scream and thrash when I tried to feed him. As soon as we moved to the bottle, his whole demeanor changed. He eagerly accepted the bottle, he was eating for much longer periods of time, he seemed to be satiated, and the screaming and thrashing immediately stopped. I finally felt the joy and the overwhelming feeling of love and closeness with my son during feeding time. I literally wept. It was one of the best parenting decisions I’ve made thus far. That being said, I would absolutely do it all over again because I know that six weeks of breast milk can make an enormous impact.
After a lot of soul searching, speaking with my doctor, and also a lot of reading on the net, I started to feel like a decent human being again. I realized that I was being entirely too hard on myself. The pain of breast feeding was robbing me of the joy and bonding that should happen with feeding time. I also firmly believe that my frustration and pain was being transferred to my son. As I was crying silently from the pain, he would scream and thrash when I tried to feed him. As soon as we moved to the bottle, his whole demeanor changed. He eagerly accepted the bottle, he was eating for much longer periods of time, he seemed to be satiated, and the screaming and thrashing immediately stopped. I finally felt the joy and the overwhelming feeling of love and closeness with my son during feeding time. I literally wept. It was one of the best parenting decisions I’ve made thus far. That being said, I would absolutely do it all over again because I know that six weeks of breast milk can make an enormous impact.
9. You know how when you’re pregnant, every one forgets that you still have a right to personal boundaries (physical and otherwise)? Yeah, that doesn’t stop once the baby is on the outside. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has advice, and many people will openly question your parenting choices. You must learn to both respond politely (or at least without tearing their face off) and let people and their judgments roll off your back. Someone once asked me, “You’re not going to go down the stairs with him are you?!” Really? Yes, I have actually become quite adept at these strange things we call stairs. Holy shit.
10. People can tell you and tell you about how awesome the parenting experience is but the fact is, there is absolutely no way you will ever truly understand that until your little person is here. The first time he smiled directly at me, the first time he really laughed, the first time he rolled over – all of these things were, individually, ten times more exhilarating then zip-lining through the Costa Rican rainforest or repelling down a twenty story building in a military obstacle course.
Every single day I am dumbfounded at the tremendous amount of love, pride, joy, and pure fun that Wee-man has brought us. I will do anything to get him to smile and laugh in that belly-busting way that he has just recently started doing. I will do anything to keep him safe. I will do everything in my power to make sure he has the best life I can possibly give him. He is the best thing we have ever done.
Every single day I am dumbfounded at the tremendous amount of love, pride, joy, and pure fun that Wee-man has brought us. I will do anything to get him to smile and laugh in that belly-busting way that he has just recently started doing. I will do anything to keep him safe. I will do everything in my power to make sure he has the best life I can possibly give him. He is the best thing we have ever done.
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